Sometimes creating balance requires a little room for imbalance. Sounds crazy, right? Allow me to explain my point of view. We spend so much time as women, as parents, as worker-bees, as people (this actually applies to the male species as well), trying to get it all right and be so efficient and witty and worldly and wonderful and successful and the list goes on and on… We kick butt every day. Make it all happen! Every little thing can seem worthy of our time in the pursuit of perfect balance, but often at our own expense, or at the expense of our family, our partners and our intrinsic sense of “true” balance.
When pandering to perfection and “perfect” balance, there is a loss that can occur spiritually, that is. There’s a feeling that we get when we realize we have been trying so hard to be the best version of ourselves that we might actually be missing out on the best things about ourselves. And to that end, we may be depriving those around us from basking in our true wonder.
“Total” and “Perfect” balance can be boring. It’s nearly unattainable and practically impossible. We go to such lengths to be so fine requiring an unrelenting focus that often deflects our gaze from that which we are most attracted. Whether “that” is a cookie, a night out on our butts binge watching something totally un-binge worthy or listening to a song that we wouldn’t want to share on social media. We are all entitled to tip the scale a little in the seemingly wrong direction from time to time. It could be swearing like a sailor when you must (hopefully not in front of the kids), dialing up take-out when you have perfectly beautiful greens in your fridge awaiting a sauté, engaging in a little harmless retail therapy when you really should be paying a bill, or just praising your incredible body, instead of cursing it for not yoga-ing enough or showing up at the gym that day.
I used to overthink, over-list-write over-agonize my failings. I still do sometimes, (just ask my husband). It’s easy to freak out about anything that takes you off your game in creating balance. But the more we judge ourselves and fight and push and pull and cajole our own psyches in the name of “perfect” balance. The less balance we will ever really experience. After all it’s about Yin and Yang. Chocolate and Vanilla, Night and Day…No one can be Beyoncé or Gwyneth every minute. Okay, no one but Beyoncé or Gwyneth can be Beyoncé or Gwyneth, ever. Why try!? Who knows how balanced their lives are anyway? Everyone is fronting balance. Everyone is selling balance. We shouldn’t buy into everything! We must only compare ourselves to… ourselves.
Do you get everything done (or almost everything) and leave no time for downtime? Do you balance your bank accounts, and everything from A-Z and leave less than a scrap of time for XXX’ s and OOO’s and all the saucy stuff with your so-called “significant” other? Or do you get all the balanced goods under your belt and leave no time to even find a significant other?
Balance takes a little grit! It takes a little confidence at times to just let things go! You feel more balanced when you feel fulfilled, true to yourself and understood-don’t ya? I know I do. Sometimes I have eaten like a Buddhist monk, done some yoga, cared for my family in the best way I know how, studied, written a song, worked with a client, made the beds, made my deadlines, done the dishes, a load of laundry, meditated for 10 minutes, took my supplements and I do not feel balanced!!!! Sometimes I do. But other times I have missed out on things that did not seem like they were contributing to my “perfect” sense of balance like chit-chatting with a friend, or rearranging the furniture, doodling, or lazily reading something of no particular importance. I guess it all boils down to what balance means to you. If drinking 10 glasses of water a day does the trick, than do it. (Actually water is quite balancing, I highly recommend H20-ing it up). But if you must blow off a workout in favor of wondering around aimlessly for an hour because it does your mind some good then just walk briskly. There! Workout completed!
Be resourceful. Be free. Be easy on yourself. Be honest about what balance to YOU actually looks like. Don’t believe the hype. There’s no wrong and no right. It’s your life. It’s your job to take care of you and not get caught up in a balancing act of perfection that could leave you feeling anything but balanced! As long as you are walking your talk (most of the time), keeping your heart open (in general) and moving forward in your life some slight deviations along the road to that coveted balance might actually take you somewhere you need to go.
You owe it to yourself to be you, to love yourself and pardon your imbalances. Breathe easy. It comes with practice, it comes with patience and it comes with putting our cruel self-judgment where it belongs. So stick it where the sun don’t shine. Get on with it! Tomorrow is another day. There’s always another way. You can rock the balance of your life one day at a time in your own uniquely crazy way! After all you are only human. And that is a perfectly beautiful thing!!
With much Love! xo-Stacie